@lookwhoshira: Thought I was meowing back to my cat for the past hour but it turns out it was just me and my dad meowing at each other from different rooms in the house
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@dogsrverycool: *sees a very smooth rock* me: nice rock my brain: put it in your mouth me: no?????
@3sunzzz: My husband changed his cologne brand for the 1st time in 31 years. Now he smells like I'm having an affair.
@JohnLyonTweets: No, autocorrect, I'm not "pooping" popcorn. Not now anyway. Later, yes, but I don't plan to text about it.