Throw a pizza down a manhole. Wait five minutes. Throw a grenade down. You just killed the Ninja Turtles.

You Might Also Like


Pre-employment drug tests are misleading, I didn’t get to try any of them.


The next time someone describes me as feisty, I’m going to stand in front of them and air punch rapidly like Scrappy Doo.


My ex and I would role play from time to time. She would dress up as a teacher and call my mother to tell her that I ate the Crayons again.


“I’ve got cat-like T-Rexes”
Don’t you mean cat-like reflexes?
*Tyrannosaurus pounces on you*


I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning.


Why does the couple at the beginning of a scary movie always have to be happy & sexy why can’t it be like, Pat & Deb, 56 & 54, IBS sufferers


One time I threw my cat at a spider so I could escape, but sure I’d love to hold your baby