Which doesnt belong?
Camel……It’s the only one on the list that knows something about the Middle East
*throws back out*
Back: Let me back in baby, I can change.
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Hey yea man, send me that YouTube link. I’m definitely gonna watch it and not just default send back “lol” after a few minutes.
Doesn’t seem very hygienic.
Since joining Twitter, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face.
My favorite Skrillex song is the one where he drops a spoon into the garbage disposal and steps on a cat’s tail.
‘Failed to send tweet,’ is Twitter’s polite way of saying, ‘Dude..’
Doctor: You have acute alcoholism.
Me: Thanks, but let me tell you it’s not very cute in the morning.
Stormtrooper 1: You ever think that maybe we’re with the bad guys?
Stormtrooper 2: Nah, lets just head back to the Death St… to the ship.
Heroic fire saves man from having horrible house
90% of parenting older kids is making sure they’re not in the same room when they have to do homework.