I tried that whole “if you love something, set it free” thing but my kids are still here.
To err is human. To errrrrrrr! eerrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! errrrrrrrrrrrrr! is racecar.
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Me: collaborate and listen
Me: you forget about me
Me: teacher, leave them kids alone
Husband: Come on baby, do that thing that I love.
Me: *stuffs an entire jelly doughnut into my mouth*
4 y.o: I used the potty. Can I have a treat?
Me: No. You always go in the potty
4: I can stop
Apparently I negotiate with terrorists
My psychiatrist is mad at me, told him I could hear people but couldn’t see them…he said when does this happen…I said over the phone
I love Ebay. Sold my homing pigeon 8 times last month.
*meets girl for coffee*
*sets down blueprints for bank*
Your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime
I got tested this morning for Covid-19. Ouch. Those nasal swabs go deep. Jeez, buy a gal dinner first.
If the kids can eat chocolate eggs for breakfast, that means I can have Bailey’s in my coffee, right?