@AKATriple: To the first two people who thought Superman was a bird or plane... why the hell were you so excited?
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@OtherDanOBrien: [police lineup] VICTIM: That's him! The dopey fat guy in the middle. COP: We haven't started yet. That's your own reflection in the glass.
@DreamExplosive: Me, hold a grudge? Never. I carry a battle axe at all times and settle any nonsense as it happens.
@NewDadNotes: God: You found the Holy Grail! Me: cool, what does it do? God: drink from the cup and you shall live forever. Me: ew, that sounds awful. pass. God: you don’t want eternal li- Me: I said pass.
@Dirty_Naomi: 2 Jehovah's witnesses knocked earlier, so I invited them in. I gave 1 the hoover & 1 a mop. If they can do Gods work, they can do mine.