HER: I’m breaking up with you..
ME: Is it because W e A re I N a Bl a k H o l e ?
C ¡ !
E R: Y
! ! ! !
Top causes of divorce:
3. Unmet expectations
4. Growing apart
5. Tandem bikes
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Me: The timing is off
Mechanic: Okay, but I can’t help you with your jokes
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*Flashback to me doing five push-ups yesterday*
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Margaret Thatcher died?? And more importantly, Margaret Thatcher was still alive??!!