@shadonium: Twitter should have " Throwing tomato" button.
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@envydatropic: Something touched my leg while in the ocean and apparently I can walk on water now
@WheelTod: Dating tip for ladies: some guys will be scared off if you don't wait until the third date before asking him to murder your husband.
@WilliamAder: Arrogant Co-Worker: Do you have any idea how many years of education I have? Me: Don't feel bad, I got held back a couple of times myself.
@iamspacegirl: my 3yo (to an old woman holding a sphinx cat and only a sphinx cat): I really like your bag.