You Might Also Like


my dads complaining that i ate all his pills but I’M complaining that he’s a giant melting prism of pure energy thats turning into a dragon


Top Gun (PG) – 1986

A military jet suffers thru two arrogant pilots’ bro-speak until finally fighting back, killing one of them – 110 mins


Don’t you hate it when you forget proper terms for objects so you end up calling a “watering can” a “that waterthingie for thirsty plants, yanno it’s like a portable water holder”.


The rare times my cat approaches me for affection, I run away and hide under the bed so she knows what that feels like.


It says here on your resume that you’re “good at traps,” could you expand on that while I investigate this pile of leaves on the floor?


Anyone who thinks sorry is the hardest word to say has clearly never tried speaking Welsh.


ME: Humans have 10,000 taste buds. Cats have 470

SON: So cats don’t have much taste

CAT [watching the emoji movie] haha this is hilarious


Yelling “spider” during sex does not make him pull out. I know this now.