“I don’t want to talk about it, so I posted some lyrics for you to decipher about how it’s your fault.” ~ girls
Unless you’re going to tell me there’s a sniper target on me, I can wait for you to finish chewing to hear what you have to say. Thanks.
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If someone shows up at my house unannounced, I won’t open the door.
I just stand on the other side of the glass shaking my head no.
We are watching “It” from last year and not for nothin’ but Pennywise is mostly very bad at his job.
i absolutely refuse to drink any tap water till it’s gone though my brita filter that i haven’t changed in 5 years
Keep a few cat turds in your pockets, just in case a cop searches you. He will get cat poop on his hands, and you can laugh. It’s all legal.
To the goth guy in my college dining hall who always ate waffles: I’m sorry I only knew you as “Waffle Goth.” You were surely more complex.
Well hello, “Party-Size” bag of Doritos. Welcome to my party! There will be no other guests.
I witnessed some luteing today. Six men playing a sprightly medieval tune . Quite out of step with the times were they.
“i am trapped in a loveless marriage help me obi-wan you’re my only hope” “use divorce, luke”
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name “fire place”