I saw an identical tweet of my joke! It was posted months before mine, so he’s worse than a tweet thief; he’s a time-travelling tweet thief!
Unpopular Opinion: the wooden ball inside an avocado is a seed
You Might Also Like
I think having a highway to Hell and only a stairway to Heaven says a lot about anticipated traffic numbers.
doctor: you’re completely blind
me: what are you saying
doctor: april fools lol you’re actually deaf
doctor: oh right
C’mon guys, just 50 more likes and her father will love her.
Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend?
When you get fired from a job, you don’t stay around and watch other people do your job.
Kids don’t scare me cause their little arms aren’t strong enough to swing a chainsaw.
When I was growing up I always loved making sandcastles with my grandmother, at least until mom started hiding the urn.
Me: [hears phrases incorrectly but appropriates them anyway] kazoo night.
My gym is opening up again, so now I have to go back to not going because I’m lazy.
LIBRARIAN: yes over there
ME: do u have any books on time travel