I was eating a chicken wonton at Applebee’s and started choking
All I could think was that I can’t go like this because I have 2 more to eat
Cleaning out the fridge is the most excitement I’ve had in weeks
Surprised face, confused, followed by a little gagging
Any day now Santa is going to block my Amazon list
Shutting down the bars and liquor stores and my daughters college for the semester.
You want to see a triggered new 21 year old
My daughter was using a old ice tea bottle for her paint brushes and accidentally drank it
Did I mention she’s been on the Dean’s List for 4 years
Can’t, I’m fighting over the space heater with the cat
Today is my first day of taking fish oil
When do I get scales
I only feel really dirty when I go to the grocery store now.
At what age do you say never again and actually mean it.
Yes advice is free, but so are throat punches