Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of 1MeLrO's best tweets

@1MeLrO : Yes advice is free, but so are throat punches

@1MeLrO: I get my best cardio at the grocery store because I never make a list

And back to isle 3 and repeat

@1MeLrO: It's not burnt.
It's carmalized!

Me every time I burn something.

@1MeLrO: Wow, it's really blowie outside

Me as a weather girl

@1MeLrO: I wrestled a Gator today

Okay bathed my cat

@1MeLrO: If you can't kill them with kindness

A shovel will do

@1MeLrO: If you can't call your kid at 8:30 in the morning from the next bedroom to bring you a drink

What's the point of them having a cell phone

@1MeLrO: They say honey is good for you when you're sick

I'm dipping my fried chicken strips in it and I do feel less stabby

@1MeLrO: I don't get why they put those stickers on fruit and vegetables

They taste like shit

@1MeLrO: It's cool to jump out of bed and realize you are already dressed to run to Walmart