when I bought these the cashier gave me a promo code for Better Help
What if instead of startling someone you could stople them. Just like, do something that makes them instantly really relaxed
how did this penguin get in my apartment??!?!
A bouncy castle with a low cement ceiling to teach you not to have too much fun
why this chick look like a soccer player posing for senior pictures
Eggs are just drums you can only play once
Mrs. Jekyll: I’m eating for two
Dr. Jekyll: oh no not you too
Can u imagine getting married and having a family and staying in love until u die, then waiting in the afterlife for your wife to join you and she finally dies and ditches u for a dude she knew for three days on a boat instead?? Anyway I’d give Titanic a 9/10
[alternate universe where vegetables enforce the law]
person: *sees a robbery* I’m calling the crops
When I canceled my gym membership, I had to submit a too weak notice