Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Page of 2browneyedboys's best tweets

@2browneyedboys : If you’re searching for a woman who’s sweet and funny and has her life together then look no further because that one at the table behind me seems like she does.

@2browneyedboys: I just got a headache from bending down but yeah, age is just a number.

@2browneyedboys: [parent-teacher conference]

teacher: he’s doing so well, and he’s such a great listen-

me: coolcoolcool no doubt but when do you teach them to stop turning on every light in the house, is that this year or

@2browneyedboys: A body cam but for when you send your husband to the grocery store

@2browneyedboys: me: my loofah completely fell apart in the shower

prison guard: those are ramen noodles