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Page of 3sunzzz's best tweets

@3sunzzz : Assert your dominance by putting a few decorative pillows in your husband's truck.

@3sunzzz: Whenever I want my son to visit I tell him our dog keeps going in his old bedroom trying to find him.

@3sunzzz: I write fake chores on my to-do list just to scribble them out, then my husband thinks I do more.

@3sunzzz: The fact that there are countless First Responders alongside the street tells me everything I need to know about running marathons.

@3sunzzz: The elephant is my spirit animal.

1. we never forget
2. we hate the circus
3. we're scared of mice
4. we're Disney characters
5. we're awkward in rooms

@3sunzzz: Whenever I babysit I wear a wig. When the parents leave I cut off 90% of my hair. I tell the kids if they don't behave, they're next.

@3sunzzz: Me: I lost 13 pounds.

Also Me: I'm going to celebrate with cake!

@3sunzzz: Justify your alcoholism by having children.

@3sunzzz: It takes my husband longer to choose a rental car online than it did for us to choose the names for our sons.

@3sunzzz: I told my husband I wanted a hedgehog and he said we don't need a hedgehog. Long story short, we're picking it up on Thursday.