Me? Well, I just spent 5 minutes examining a worrisome mole before it fell off because it was a junior mint .
If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.
I named my toilet Jim instead of John and now everyone is always so impressed when I tell them I go to the Jim everyday.
Spam popsicles.
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I miss my public school gang. We all had leather jackets and rode our bmx’s around town looking for other gangs to fight before it got dark out.
Most of the time we ended up just getting more friends from it.
50 might be the new 40, but the hundred dollar bill is now the new twenty.
Friday the 13th is still better than Monday the 16th.