2007 social media: wow connected with an old friend from high school
2017 social media: the cheese smoked gouda is linked to racism
Sales person: if you buy a new Lexus we will make the first months payment
Me: so who makes the other 59 payments?
I met the woman of my dreams playing Pokémon GO then she got hit by a car.
Her: i’m in the mood
Me: me too
Her: wanna do it
Me: oh yeah baby
[we drive to Home Depot to look at paint]