There’s a great new book on minimalism but I only read the blurb because I believe that’s what the author would want.
Hear me out. Organ harvest festival.
I’ve taken sex off the table on first dates, much to the relief of everyone else at the restaurant.
I’m just not cool enough for a scooter, I moped.
No wonder King Charles’s visit to France was cancelled amidst violent protests about retirement age legislation. A working 74-year-old royal just sends out the wrong message.
It frustrates me when people refuse to adopt the technology of the day and respond promptly to my faxes.
If you have nothing nice to say, tweet.
My fear of ascending to the top of shopping malls is escalating.
Who called it a licence to own small amphibians and not Permit the Frog.
I predict that the Institute for the Future won’t exist in five years time.
I’d like to think this guy started out with a scribble pad by the telephone and then took a REALLY long phone call.
Batman – utility belt.
Homer Simpson – futility belt.
There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.
Me: When I had a successful allotment, I got a lot of unexpected attention from women.
Him: Grew peas?
Me: No, just female vegetable enthusiasts.
Interviewer: How do you respond to criticism?
Me: Violently.
Interviewer:
Me:
Interviewer: No further questions.