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@AngryRaccoon2 : Engelbert Humperdinck actually chose that name, he was not born with it.
I think about this a lot.
@AngryRaccoon2: I've never met a day I couldn't ruin.
@AngryRaccoon2: If you remove all the segments where they tell you what's coming up, Dateline is actually only 13 minutes long.
@AngryRaccoon2: "Mom! I made you a character in my video game!"
Me: "Cool! What am I doing?"
"You're angry. I made it just like real life."
@AngryRaccoon2: "Whatever! You're naked ALL the time!"
-Me, to my staring cats every time I get out of the shower.
@AngryRaccoon2: Hi I'm in my forties and I cry when I drop something on the floor and have to bend over and pick it up.
@AngryRaccoon2: I shaved and now I can fit into my smaller jeans.
@AngryRaccoon2: "Mom, can you make me a snack and bring it upstairs?"
Me: "No! What is this, Denny's?"
"Mom, Denny's doesn't have an upstairs."
@AngryRaccoon2: My mother: *brings over crap every time she visits*
Also my mother: "You sure have a lot of crap."
@AngryRaccoon2: "Kids! Come say goodbye to your father!"
-Me, when my husband has a cold.