Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@AngryRaccoon2 : "Hey, we see that everything you've ever watched has been in English, may we suggest something in German?"
@AngryRaccoon2: "2! 4! 6! 8! Who do we appreciate?
@AngryRaccoon2: 14: Wanna play a game?
14: Do an impression of Mom
12: Oh that's easy
14: WITHOUT SWEARING
12: Forget it.
@AngryRaccoon2: Most people don't put music on for pets when they go out, but here's me going back in the house to change it cuz the dog only likes Top 40.
@AngryRaccoon2: Herbal tea...for when you want to drink some scented hot water.
@AngryRaccoon2: Ah yes. My husband and I in our natural habitat.
Lying in bed on our phones whilst blowing pet hair off our screens.
@AngryRaccoon2: (At concert)
EVERYBODY ON YOUR FEET!!
Me: Not a chance
WAVE YOUR ARMS!!
OKAY YOU GUYS SING!!
Me: WHOSE CONCERT IS THIS?
@AngryRaccoon2: Told a woman who was shopping with a newborn that I had teenagers. I was waiting for her to say I looked too young to have teenagers.
@AngryRaccoon2: No coroner will need to do an autopsy to see what I ate, they'll just need to shake out my bra.
@AngryRaccoon2: If you keep your curtains open at night, please know I WILL slow down as I drive by to critique your decorating and see what you're watching.