Said hello to someone, they didn’t hear me, immediately assumed it was some sort of sixth sense situation
Responding to any and all emails with ‘wow ok’
Might start signing off emails with ‘well I hope you’re happy’
All soups are gazpacho if you’re lazy enough
Multitask? I can barely unitask
Them: just trust your gut
Me: the one full of chocolate and coffee?
Getting out of bed should count as resistance training
I don’t think this app is working properly, I’m like barely getting any matches.
Science: caffeine can cause sleep issues.
Me who drinks a ton of coffee: if only there was something I could do to improve my sleep.
These aliens are taking forever.
Yes. these are prescription Oreos.
That time I tried to clap while doing a push-up and almost died.