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Page of AsgardianRose's best tweets

@AsgardianRose : Squirrels: 1,538

My dogs: -17

@AsgardianRose: Weird how first we have to pretend to be asleep in order to fall asleep.

@AsgardianRose: 48 hr deodorant only lasts 8 hours. Welcome to my TED Talk.

@AsgardianRose: I’ve cleaned the entire house so no one is allowed to live here anymore.

@AsgardianRose: If you take your antidepressant prescription to the pharmacy in your wedding gown while sobbing incoherently, they will fill it instantly.

@AsgardianRose: I’m bored. I’m going to text my ex boyfriends and say “I have to talk to you, it’s important” and then not answer the phone for 6 days.

@AsgardianRose: Me at 16: No one can tell me what to do with my life.

Me at 36: Someone please tell me what to do with my life.

@AsgardianRose: Still disappointed that a goblet is just a cup and not a miniature goblin.

@AsgardianRose: No animal is more conniving and deceptive than Guinea Pigs, whom are neither pigs or from Guinea.

@AsgardianRose: Perks of being an adult: I can eat 8 cookies, no one can stop me.

Cons of being an adult: I ate 8 cookies, no one stopped me, I feel awful.