Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@BarebakAssassin : The best thing about dating someone with a barbed wire tattoo is knowing that you won't be known as their "worst regret" when you break up.
@BarebakAssassin: After you're done looking for true love on Twitter, you should go ride a unicorn around Atlantis, then eat some heart-healthy ice cream.
@BarebakAssassin: Most problems can be solved by pouring a concrete slab over the person causing the problems.
@BarebakAssassin: In my 32 years this is what I've learned about women:
1.) "No" means no
2.) "Maybe" means no
3.) "Yes" means maybe
@BarebakAssassin: Some people don't realize how grateful they should be that I'm not allowed to carry a sword in public.