@BeTheCookie

I think the short sellers had it right with Game Stop. It’s a failing business. If you look closely at their actual business model it does not seem at all effective at stopping games.

@BeTheCookie

Q: Which US President has the most trouble keeping his eyes open?

A: Abe Blinkin’

Come on down to Professor Cookie’s Very Good Joke Store where you can find very good jokes like this one.

@BeTheCookie

Wife: Honey! Dan is here!
Me: Dan from work? Or Dan who changes all his swears into bunny-related PG cusses?
Dan: That’s right jack rabbits, Dan is all up in this motherthumper!

@BeTheCookie

I always run towards screaming. Sure, it could be a horrible murder in progress. BUT it could also be ice cream.

@BeTheCookie

Science Fact: If you see it later, it was an alligator. If you see it after a while, it was a crocodile.

@BeTheCookie

Just think, if you had managed to squeeze in 20-30 minutes of running every day for the past month, you’d be really far from home right now.

@BeTheCookie

When one happens upon a small spoon, the proper response is to become the big spoon. It is simply what one does at times like this. I am however sorry for having disturbed your crime scene, officer. I’ll see myself out.

@BeTheCookie

I’m thinking of a color between 1 and 10. Correct guessers get a lollipop.

@BeTheCookie

Can you imagine how rich Adam and Eve would be right now if they would have held on to that Apple stock instead of eating it and incurring the wrath of God?