🎵 You make me feel like I’ve been locked out of heaven 🎵
Jesus: “We talked about this, Lucifer.”
I’m a vegetarian except for chicken, beef, pork, and fish products.
Me: “Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep…”
The Lord: “You still have that?”
“I chose you yesterday, I choose you today, and I will choose you tomorrow.”
– Me, to my coffee
I’m not a piece of shit. I’m the whole shit.