@Big_Cat74: Her: ;) Is that a potato in your pocke...
Me: *pulls a steaming hot fully loaded potato from my pocket*
@Big_Cat74: Home Alone: Abandoned by his loved ones, a young boy must survive a violent home invasion. (Family, Comedy)
@Big_Cat74: “Hey man, do you know how long that’s been sitting out?” - People who clearly don’t understand my commitment to eating
@Big_Cat74: Friend: Duuude it's fuckin' Friday ni...
Me: *already closing the lid to my hibernation pod*
@Big_Cat74: Oh, when sharks grow an extra set of teeth it's "cool" and "neat but when I do it it's "what's happening to that man's face mommy?" and "why is he slinking back into the sewer mommy?"
@Big_Cat74: [things I worry about on vacation]
1) Getting eaten by a shark
2) Worrying that I didn’t get eaten by a shark because it assumed I tasted funny
@Big_Cat74: the worst thing about getting attacked by a crocodile is that your friends will probably scream “watch out for that alligator!” and then you will have to explain to them the difference while it’s eating your face