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Page of BillPelicanBros's best tweets

@BillPelicanBros : I've got a black eye, a $200 fine and I've been listed on a register...turns out taking candy from a baby wasn't so easy after all.

@BillPelicanBros: *job interview*
Boss: Give an example of when you've done something creative
Me: When I listed my 'experience' on the application form

@BillPelicanBros: Cop: You were speeding so I'm going to be giving you a ticket
Me: Ooh, could I win something
Cop: Sort of, 2 more of these & you get a bike

@BillPelicanBros: Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn't see a sign saying you couldn't park on pedestrians.

@BillPelicanBros: A guy knocked on my door asking for a donation for the Abandoned Children's I gave him my kids.