I’ve had the same phone for over three years, so I know a thing or two about commitment and frustration.
Forgive me father for I have sinned, it’s been 25 yrs since my last confession, I sure hope you’re seated comfortably.
You want to make them feel welcome but not so much that they’d want to come back any time too soon.
Socialising is hard.
I got run over by a bus once but yes yes you’re right, there’s nothing worse than a paper cut!
“Happy Anniversary to you both, may you have a long marriage with many more years ahead” she hexed.
Restless leg syndrome does not give you the right to swiftly kick people whenever you feel like it. I know that now.. 😆
I kept getting my shin badly grazed by the pedal of my bike when I was was a kid, that was one vicious cycle.
One of my favourite places to find a giggle @funTweeters timeline ☺
Was invited into a group DM called procrastinators, it’s been two weeks I’m still waiting to be added….
*my kind of people
70% of being married is just wondering which of us is going to benefit from the life insurance.
A selfie stick is very useful…..
.. as a prod to keep people out of your personal space.
Growing up couldn’t wait to have a room of my own and do whatever I liked. So why did I end up doing the exact opposite by getting married?
“Your sense of entitlement is destroying our relationship”
*me to my dog while trying to eat without having to share.
The red haired guy in the bakery
doesn’t like being called…
‘The Ginger Bread Man’*lesson learned
Me: Help someone is trying to gain entry to my home, send the police!
Her: Calm down, where are they now?
Me: Still ringing the doorbell