I’m a champion of grammar;
A grampion, if you will.
“Impeccable” sounds like a general immunity to crow attacks…
I’ll take a low-fat, mocha, chai, organic-soy-milk latte, with a shot of French vanilla, sprinkled with unicorn soul, please.
If I lived in Alabama, I’d name my daughter, ‘Banjo-lina”.
*Farmer walks into job application
Farmer: I barely speak English, and my village doesn’t have a computer.
Employer: BOOM! Tech support!
I started studying Tai Chi, so I wouldn’t recommend getting in a slow-motion fight with me…
Instead of saying “I lost 35 pounds”,
say, “I lost half a super-model”
“To label you “divine” would be to capture but a fraction of your resplendence.
… and could you pleeeeease grab an Oreo while you’re up?”
Q: “How long were you at your last job?”
A: “Seven-and-a-half inches… same as now”
Fact: men are never too busy for sex. It’s been clinically proven, 9 out of 10 men will find time for sex while fleeing a burning building.
I haven’t used algebra in 3x-q years