@BobGolen

I bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

@BobGolen

I recently took a pole and found that 100% of the people were angry when the tent collapsed.

@BobGolen

I like dogs cuz if you do something stupid they don’t criticize you, they do it with you.

@BobGolen

Many people are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.

@BobGolen

Add a touch of magic to your allergies by filling your mouth with glitter before you sneeze.

@BobGolen

How many times do you have to click “I accept cookies” before they send you the cookies?

@BobGolen

Genie: I grant you three wishes.

Bob: I want to be rich.

Genie: Granted.

Rich: I want a lot of money.

@BobGolen

My neighbor’s dogs are named Calvin and Klein. They’re boxers.