The trick to keeping Canadian bacon from curling in the frying pan is to take away their little brooms
When the moon hits your eye
Like it’s 5:45,
That’s November
That new corduroy pillow is really making headlines
Those who believe in only 12.5% of the bible are eighthiests.
“Bro, you want this pamphlet?”
“Brochure”
When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot
Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.
Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.
Bob is my nickname. Robert is my nicholasname
After playing guitar all these years, I thought I’d give piano a try. But that’s not an easy instrument to pick up.
I just post them. I don’t explain them.
Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.
In England “booster shot” is spelled “borchestershire shot”.
“Wow, Awesome costume.”
“Step out of the vehicle, sir.”