Guys waiting their turn for a haircut are a barbercue.
“What do you know about atoms?”
“Very little.”
“Besides that.”
Cholesterol has a special place in my heart.
We do these things not because they are easy. We do these things because we thought that they might be easy.
Late last night my drunk neighbor was banging on his front door for ten minutes. I finally got up and called out to him telling him he wasn’t home. So he left.
Dropped the ice cube tray. Made a mess at first, but now it’s just water under the fridge.
Got ya covered
If boarding school taught me anything it’s how to get on planes and trains.
Kind of jealous of how a horse can strap a meal to its face.
If you are attracted to both men and women with muscular arms, you’re bicepsual.
Have you spent any of your daylight savings yet?
My tweets use many of the same letters as Shakespeare.