Wise advice
Of all the essential oils WD40 is the essentialist.
Darn, my 250 million years old salt has expired.
“How many witches does it take to change a lightbulb?”
“Depends. Into what?”
You have to question the modus operandi of people who use Latin for no reason.
Used to be able to touch my toes. Now I just have a sip of beverage and wave at them.
What did the bra say to the hat? “You go on a head, I’ll give these two a lift.” (I’m back to silly jokes. Probably for the best.)
You know you’re getting older when the person telling you to slow down is you’re doctor, not a cop.
I was attacked by two owls simultaneously. They were in cahoots.
50% of Roger Federer‘s name is “er”
“Who’s your favorite vampire?”
“The one on Sesame Street.”
“He doesn’t count.”
“I can assure you that he does.”
When I was young I was poor. But after decades of hard work, I’m no longer young.
The car salesman said my vehicle will seat five people without any problems. How am I suppose to find five people without any problems?
My boss used to call me “the computer”. Nothing to do with intelligence. I go to sleep if left unattended for 15 minutes.
I considered buying this but the scratches on the lid had me concerned.
