Someone told me they don’t wear a mask cuz their nose is too big. Give me a break. I wear underwear.
Wild falcons live to be about 13, so all the falcons in the wild today were born in the 21st century.
They’re millennial falcons.
I bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.
I recently took a pole and found that 100% of the people were angry when the tent collapsed.
I like dogs cuz if you do something stupid they don’t criticize you, they do it with you.
Boating season is upon us.
Add a touch of magic to your allergies by filling your mouth with glitter before you sneeze.
How many times do you have to click “I accept cookies” before they send you the cookies?
Genie: I grant you three wishes.
Bob: I want to be rich.
Genie: Granted.
Rich: I want a lot of money.
My neighbor’s dogs are named Calvin and Klein. They’re boxers.
British websites use biscuits.
“This is your raise. Please keep it confidential.”
“Don’t worry. I’m as ashamed of it as you are.”
Lance isn’t a common name now, but in Medieval times guys were named Lance a lot.
As I drove into the cemetery, the GPS announced I had reached my final destination.