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@BreadFoster : Only in New York will they pay $5 a bottle for cold water, but cry when it's free from the sky.
@BreadFoster: Don't say "lets get weird" on our date then get freaked out I'm dressed in Forever 21 and holding your cousin hostage.
@BreadFoster: I "pet zone" girls. It's like the friend zone, but, I only hang out if your dog will be there.
@BreadFoster: Man buns: Because girls want the convenience of a guy who always has a hair tie.
@BreadFoster: This year for Lent, I'm just giving up.
@BreadFoster: I can't wait until Taylor Swift breaks up with a black guy so she can put out a rap album.