Of course it’s you and not me. I’m freaking amazing.
Remember when we thought 2016 was a particularly bad year?
*Laughs in 2020*
2020 has lasted five years but October only lasted a week.
Him: I hate that you ask so many questions.
Me: why? What do you mean?
If he doesn’t like fruit puns, let that mango.
Someone: describe your sex life in two words.
Me: my what?
5 year plan?
I havent even planned this sentence volcano.
Studies say people with high IQ are lazy. Of course I didn’t read the entire article.