When you’re pushing 40, the real life challenge is to find the pic angle where you don’t look like Jabba the Hut.
I get Grumpy when I run out of Dopey.
I bought a keg and bagels today. That’s what kegel is, right?
Someday, I wish Twitter will come up with a new & useful feature for once, like a sarcasm indicator for the ones who never get it.
Life’s most terrifying 10 seconds: Being held hostage in the corner of the shower by cold water.