My goal weight is for it not to look like I’m having a stroke when I yawn.
An upscale Asian restaurant called “Suit and Thai.”
Just had too much fun with a woman who lost her son named “Marco” in the supermarket just now.
My goal weight is for my waiter to ask me if I want a salad with my meal without bursting into laughter.
This Job Fair sucks, it doesn’t even have rides.
Any wife can be a trophy wife if you bring her to a Taxidermist.
Is anybody else having trouble logging into my wife’s Facebook account?
Batman’s Bat Signal was really banking on the fact that crimes only happened at night.
As soon as I walk in, I can feel every woman at the gym dressing me with their eyes.