Eggnog is perfect for when you feel like drinking a glass of pancake batter.
If your problem can be solved by:
Naps
Cake
Drugs
Alcohol
or MurderThen you don’t really have a problem.
Top three perverts that see you when you’re sleeping:
1. Santa.
2. God.
3. NSA.
What woman say right before they kill you:
Wow.
Fine.
Whatever.
No problem.
I’m not mad.
Nothing’s wrong.
Sure, stay friends with your ex.
You’re psychiatrist’s opinion about your social media habits don’t count if he has less followers than you.
Twitter: “Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican”
Twitter: “Where people are openly Gay and secretly Republican”
Some of my best friends started out as bad choices.
Some of my best friends started out as bad choices.