Funny Tweeter

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Page of CantWaitToNap's best tweets

@CantWaitToNap : Fun fact: Pouring water on a snorer only makes them mad.

@CantWaitToNap: Seriously, calm down. I backed into you by accident.

Him: You hit me three times!

@CantWaitToNap: Dance like you haven’t fallen off that pole twice already.

@CantWaitToNap: [Watching the news]

This is all wrong, villains are supposed to be fictional characters.

@CantWaitToNap: Nothing says "I've been going through your shit" like "why do you delete your browser history?"

@CantWaitToNap: Thanks for doing that thing that makes me feel like an idiot.

~Me to me

@CantWaitToNap: “Baby, you know I’m drunk.”

Cop: “I need you step out of the vehicle.”

@CantWaitToNap: I don’t know why they are staring. Ignore them.

*Holds drink up to your voodoo doll’s mouth*

@CantWaitToNap: Take me to get something to eat. I’m too drunk to drive.

Officer: “I need you to step out of the car, ma’am.”