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@CantWaitToNap : Nothing says "I've been going through your shit" like "why do you delete your browser history?"
@CantWaitToNap: Thanks for doing that thing that makes me feel like an idiot.
~Me to me
@CantWaitToNap: “Baby, you know I’m drunk.”
Cop: “I need you step out of the vehicle.”
@CantWaitToNap: *Seductively forgets you*
@CantWaitToNap: I don’t know why they are staring. Ignore them.
*Holds drink up to your voodoo doll’s mouth*
@CantWaitToNap: Take me to get something to eat. I’m too drunk to drive.
Officer: “I need you to step out of the car, ma’am.”
@CantWaitToNap: *Bites lower lip*
"So this is an abduction then?"
Cop: "Stop that. You're under arrest."
@CantWaitToNap: Oh my God. You try to run him over one time, and he never lets you forget it.
@CantWaitToNap: I hate crumbs, so I eat my snacks in bed on his side.
@CantWaitToNap: *Flings your voodoo doll out into the snow*
You cold, bro?