@CarbonatedCB

Having a teenage driver is great. My favorite rule of his so far is JESUS STOP BURPING IN THE CAR MOM!

@CarbonatedCB

I used to work in a salon. The pay was terrible but coming home each day with all the free hair I could carry was a dream come true!

@CarbonatedCB

I had a coughing fit at my doctor’s office and she ran out to get me a drink

It turned into a laughing coughing fit when she came back and asked “is Pepsi ok?”

@CarbonatedCB

The big difference between a gynecologist and an outdoorsman is that only one can include pictures with his fish stories

@CarbonatedCB

The best way to have self-control with queso dip in the house is to forget to hide it from your family and let them get to it first