@CharmandBrains

A required corporate training course said to build strong relationships.

Also, HR told me it’s “inappropriate” to kiss strangers.

@CharmandBrains

*Throws all 900 baby items in garbage*

*Buys Magic 8 Ball*

*Whispers*, This is how we raise you now.

@CharmandBrains

Every morning I wake up and every morning there is no breakfast in bed. We have got to do something about this level of poverty!

@CharmandBrains

I call bullshit on red wine reducing fat. If there was any truth to that, I’d resemble a crack addict.