Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.
I’m missing the VMAs. Who’s losing? Is it music?
Let’s be honest: The documentary they were making before the Blair Witch killed them would have sucked
“Fine, I’m sorry, you win, just, please stop crying.” – my rap battle opponent
My girlfriend’s car got stolen today, so if you see a man driving a dark green Honda Civic, PLEASE tell him I left some Skittles in there.
Hey, people who act like they’re about to fight but are really friends, you are FREAKING the rest of us out.
I think police forgot which organized group of white dudes with shaved heads they are.
You’ll get this gun when you pry it out of my cold dead ow hey give that back
The iPad Air is named after what’s left in your bank account when you buy one.
“Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs” could also describe every menu item at Olive Garden.