(after first date)
*Hey, can you recommend any of your friends.
DAD i can’t stay with your wife in same home.. she’s hiding all my snacks.
She : Drink responsibly..!
Me : Responsibilities are the reason why I drink.
I met my wife on Tinder.!
*After 4 months of marriage
Me: How dare you accuse me of being drunk last night !?
Wife: You were laughing all night at the TV – that wasn’t even turned on!
Me : Sorry Boss, I’m late as I had to drop my girlfriend at her college.
Boss : If you are late again you are fired.
Me : Fine, YOU can drop your daughter at college from tomorrow.
My Therapist thinks i need a women in my life. But all the women i know thinks i need a therapist.
I once had a girlfriend and then she got to know me.