Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of Cheeseboy22's best tweets

@Cheeseboy22 : Just overheard my 6-year-old son ask Alexa, "Alexa, is there anyone my dad could beat up?"

@Cheeseboy22: I am pretty impressed with the woman that created the algorithm to take the first photo of a black hole. Especially because it took me four tries to correctly spell the word "algorithm."

@Cheeseboy22: I wonder if people in Fiji pay $6 a bottle for "American Water."

@Cheeseboy22: So it turns out that the cookie dough flavored toothpaste I have been using is actually just normal cookie dough.

@Cheeseboy22: If I've learned anything from movies, it's that if you are investigating something important and get shot, you have to leave the hospital, even though the doctors say you shouldn't.

@Cheeseboy22: This librarian isn't even wearing glasses! I'm not even going to ask her where a book is. She's not going to know.

@Cheeseboy22: My teenage son says that fanny packs are back in style at his high school. I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT MY ENTIRE LIFE!

@Cheeseboy22: Fun fact: At the end of Titanic, when all the people are dying in the water, if you listen very closely, you can hear a faint, "Marco" and then an even fainter, "Polo."

@Cheeseboy22: This year my wife and I decided to make each other handmade gifts for Christmas. She knitted me a hat and I made her a grilled cheese sandwich.

@Cheeseboy22: I accidentally swallowed a Christmas ornament and now I have tinselitis.