@Chelsea_Elle

Don’t pay your taxes. Get sent to a cool ass prison. Boom, now taxes pay you. Life hack.

@Chelsea_Elle

Lost my car keys so I’m forcing the guy at Home Depot to make me new ones based on what I remember about them.

@Chelsea_Elle

Asked a Target employee if I could open this camera before I buy it and he said he wouldn’t even care if I killed someone in front of him.

@Chelsea_Elle

Leaving my browser history open in case anyone in this coffee shop tries to steal my laptop when I’m in the bathroom.

@Chelsea_Elle

The best part of being a girl is not having to open doors. If I approach a door and a guy isn’t there I just take a nap til one shows up.

@Chelsea_Elle

I take it personally when I let a car cut in front of me and then they immediately get into another lane. Come back you are with me now.

@Chelsea_Elle

So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.