Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

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Page of CheryeDavis's best tweets

@CheryeDavis : I'd rather my kid bring home head lice than another goddamn fundraising form.

@CheryeDavis: I always take the high road, because the colors are more psychedelic and sometimes you see a unicorn.

@CheryeDavis: It's not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.

@CheryeDavis: Even the worst hangover wears off by 5:00. Coincidence? I think not.

@CheryeDavis: He died doing what he loved...failing to read my mind.

@CheryeDavis: This guy must really want to impress me with his endurance skills. Because when I asked if he wanted a ride, he said "No thanks I'll walk"

@CheryeDavis: I'm glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.

@CheryeDavis: Nothing makes me more proud of my son's sense of humor, than when he asks me for help with his algebra homework.

@CheryeDavis: Grey Goose and Red Bull, because two sets of wings is better than one.

@CheryeDavis: Don't trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....