@ChicksRule

For a movie called IT, there were suprisingly few computers in it

@ChicksRule

Me: aww, cute dog! Can I pet him?

Friend: careful, he might hurt you

Dog: so, how’s your love life?

@ChicksRule

I don’t get the concept of Beach House Hunters. You don’t have to hunt a house. Especially on the beach. It has nowhere to hide

@ChicksRule

[meeting new people]

Them: so, tell me something fun about yourself

Me: *nervously* I don’t wear clown makeup usually

@ChicksRule

Ok guys, very important meeting at the Waldorf Astoria Shovel Palace. Bring your own shovel!

@ChicksRule

Boss: Thank you for paying attention for this five hour meeting, I really appreciate your focus

Me: *still wondering when it’s the perfect time to tell him he has a booger in his nose* no problem

@ChicksRule

Witch 1: *crying* the doctor said I can’t have kids

Witch 2: oh no, why?

Witch 1: I need to watch my cholesterol

@ChicksRule

[House hunters]

Pigs: we’d really love a brick house

Wolf realtor: how do we feel about wood tho?