Son: “You didn’t have YouTube or Minecraft when you were a kid? What did you do?”
*flashback to peeling dried glue off my hand*
Me: “Stuff.”
Why do birds
Suddenly appear
Every time
You are near?
Just like me
You’re secretly
Made of bread
This package of bacon says it’s “naturally hardwood smoked” as if they just happened across a bunch of pigs next to a forest fire.
An audiobook that is 8 hours of breathing and page turning with a surprised “Oh, out loud?” right at the end.
How many Avengers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. Ant-Man and Wasp are the only ones small enough to fit inside a lightbulb.