@ComedyAndTruth

Hello it’s 911, what’s your emergency?” “Two boys are fighting over me” What is the problem with it? “The ugly one is winning.”

@ComedyAndTruth

Parents: What foreign language class are you taking this year? Me: Math.

@ComedyAndTruth

Me: I’m gonna lose weight.

Me: I’m gonna exercise every day.

Me: I’m gonna go on a diet and stick to it.

Me: Is that cake?

@ComedyAndTruth

Dentist: *Pokes gums with sharp pointy instrament of death* Dentist: “Your gums are bleeding because you don’t floss.”