@CourtRundell

I don’t drink. This means when I do karaoke, it’s on purpose.

@CourtRundell

My parents waited way too long to tell me about Santa and the Easter Bunny. I was so mad I got in my car & drove away.

@CourtRundell

Dear dinosaur naming people,
Parasaurolophus and Elasmosaurus could’ve been named Frank and Joe.
Sincerely,
The parents of small children